Prayer Relay Guest reflection

This reflection was written by Pauline Talens, a journalism student at San Francisco State. She attended prayer relay this past December, and wrote an awesome reflection. Sorry for posting this so late! But here it is:

December 21, 2008

Prayer Relay 2008

Spiritual Milestone

I called my dad on Thursday to cancel my flight to San Diego, which would’ve been that Friday night of the Prayer Relay. I had a feeling inside of me that was pulling me to go.

This was my first Prayer Relay, and I didn’t know what to expect, but I was open to whatever was going to happen. When I first arrived with CeCe to the church, I already felt a warm welcome from the youth. In particular, I was introducing myself to Marcelena, and extended my hand for a handshake, but she opened her arms to give me a hug instead=)

After mass and confession, the night started off with watching video testimonies of people who’ve participated in previous Prayer Relays. So from that, I had a slight idea of what was going to lie ahead for the night. Listening to the people speak (some were speechless) about their experience during their one hour adoration, I wondered how I was going to feel.

Then we watched The Passion of Christ. The scene when he was getting whipped made me think of every time I did something I knew wasn’t good, but did it anyways, because I felt like I was one of the men hurting Jesus. This scene gave me a visual to refer back to if ever I’m put in a situation of sin.

The heart-hitting moment was during the community prayer at 3 am. First off, I thought it was beautiful in itself that I was with these people praying and singing together at that hour of the day. During this time, I reflected on how school just ended and how much I’ve been waiting for winter break to really dive back into my spiritual journey. I was thanking God for bringing me to this blessed community of young and strong believers.

At the later end of the community prayer session, I took the chance to go to the back of the church to have people pray for me. I didn’t really know what was going to happen while walking up to them. I was nervous, because I thought I had to do a personal prayer out loud or something, but I didn’t have to speak at all.

I got into the middle of the tight knit circle and faced the altar. Anna started saying a prayer for me, and then everyone else joined in simultaneously. I closed my eyes, and felt the intensity of the moment. Then CeCe in her tender voice started to say a prayer for me that completely surprised me, because I felt like she was exposing my soul.

She’s only really known me for the past 4 months, but everything she was saying was like she knew me for years. I only caught bits and pieces of what everyone else was saying, but a lot of what I did catch seemed like everything I’ve been praying for the most, such as patience, strength, and healing. The experience amazed me because of how I started off being nervous of the thought of me having to pray out loud, but it was as if they spoke what was in my heart for me. Right there and then, I felt God’s love for me like no other time in my life. I knew that this moment wouldn’t be possible, and the words from the prayers wouldn’t be said if God wasn’t there with us and in each one of the people around me.

I started to cry, because without a doubt I knew Jesus was there with me, telling me not to worry and that I AM LOVED.

For the past couple months, I’ve been praying to build a closer relationship with Jesus and after that moment, I felt the closest I’ve ever been to him. It was past 4am, which was my hour, and I was like, “wow…just a couple hours ago I was wondering how I was going to feel.” I wouldn’t have imagined that I was going to gain something so special and impacting within my hour. I felt peaceful, hopeful, and more ready to say “yes”.

I was confirmed in 2003, but throughout the past couple months I’ve had the chance to go through an extended confirmation process. My confirmation song was, “I Will Choose Christ”, and I’ve loved the song since then, but it has so much more meaning to me now because I feel like I’ve gone through more life experience and gained more knowledge to be able to choose Christ because my heart wants to, not because I feel like I have to or forced.

“I will choose Christ
I will choose love
I choose to serve
I give my heart
I give my life
I give my all to You

Some days are hard
And I fight to see the truth
But I'm gonna take a stand
In all I say and do

I will choose Christ
I will choose love
I choose to serve
I give my heart
I give my life
I give my all to You

Some fall away
And some refuse to see
A willing and humble heart
I pray You'll find in me

I will choose Christ
I will choose love
I choose to serve
I give my heart
I give my life
I give my all to You

You are grace
You are peace
You are hope and healing
You are faith
You are joy
You are God revealing
Jesus
My Lord and King

I will choose Christ
I will choose love
I choose to serve
I give my heart
I give my life
I give my all to You”

In the beginning of night when I went back into the hall from evening mass, I was talking to Jesse. He was explaining how his past experience with Prayer Relay is what made him think about being Catholic, and I said, “Wow, I think I’m going to get sucked in tonight.”, and I forgot what he said exactly, but it was along the lines of, “Yea, sucked into Jesus’ love.” We were both right.

Prayer Relay is a milestone in my spiritual journey that I pray will never end.

~*Thank you so much to the youth of Our Lady Queen of the World for being the beautiful, inspiring individuals that you are, and sharing the light of God inside you with each other and your community. You’ll be in my prayers, and I’ll see you at Youth 2000!